


The Real Reason Derek Doesn't Use Stairs

by Hatteress (goddammitstacey)



Series: Failwolf Friday Fics [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Failwolf Friday, M/M, Tumblr ficlet, utter crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-20
Updated: 2013-01-20
Packaged: 2017-11-26 04:18:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/646492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddammitstacey/pseuds/Hatteress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm a werewolf," Derek says, like <em>that's</em> a freaking excuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Real Reason Derek Doesn't Use Stairs

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for this one. It wasn't even a freaking prompt. I'm just awful.

Stiles sighs. "C'mon dude, you have to learn sometime."

Derek eyes the stairs like they've committed a personal atrocity. "I'm a werewolf," he says, like  _that's_  a freaking excuse.

"So?" Stiles says, hopping down the first couple of steps exaggeratedly. "The 'were' in that word means 'man', dude. Men use stairs."

"Only because they have no other choice," Derek gripes, edging down onto the top step. A little voice in Stiles' head crows,  _'success!'_

Stiles grins, leaning slightly on the rail. "You can't always make a dramatic entrance," he says. "It's not practical." Derek  _hrumfs_  like Stiles has told him he's never having desert again. "And," Stiles continues. "Now that we're sucking eachother off on a regular basis, using my window all the time is just bad taste."

Stiles absolutely doesn't laugh when Derek loses his footing and falls down the next two steps. At least they're not doing this at the Hale house, he'd probably have fallen through the freaking things. As it is, Derek's just left to stare up at him, round-eyed and  _terrified._

"Your dad is  _in the kitchen_ ," he whispers, scandalised.

Stiles grins, helping yank him up. "And he's very proud of all the orgasms I'm finally catching up on, I'm sure," he says.

"No I'm not!" his Dad yells from the kitchen and Stiles watches as Derek practically goes  _purple_  he's blushing so hard.

Stiles laughs, reeling him in to smack a kiss across his horrified lips. "C'mon, back to it. Or are we going to have to install one of those [dog lift things](http://lovelylisting.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/funny-real-estate-help-fatty-up-the-stairs.jpg) after all?"

"I hate you so, so much," Derek says, showing that hatred excellently by hooking his fingers into Stiles' belt loops.

Stiles grins. "I know," he says, skating his fingers up under Derek's shirt. "I hate you too."

**Author's Note:**

> Come attack me on [Tumblr](http://hatteress.tumblr.com)!


End file.
